Judson and Sarah were getting married! Not only that, but Judson had invited me to his bachelor party, which was on Thursday night. This presented a problem as I was still teaching a class Thursday morning, which was graduate statistics so I couldn't really just bag it. Further, we had my wife's sister Heinke and her husband Gustl as house guests -- they also wanted to attend the wedding. Fortunately, Monika could take off the week of the wedding, so on Thursday she drove me over to the University the first thing in the morning, then fixed breakfast for our guests, packed our stuff in the car, put Heinke and Gustl in the back seat, and drove back to pick me up after class at 12:00. I hot footed it back from class and jumped into the front passenger seat as we zoomed out-of-town. Although they had already eaten lunch, they had made me a sandwich which I ate as we drove north around the Beltway towards Baltimore. Shortly after Baltimore I took over driving and Monika and I changed drivers every two hours for the rest of the trip.

I kept about 10 miles an hour over the speed limit because I really wanted to make it to the bachelor party. We arrived at our hotel in Andover MA shortly after 9 p.m., and I drove back into Somerfield MA for the bachelor party right after checking in and putting our things in the room. Fortunately, it was a straight shot down Interstate 93 and only took a half-hour. Unfortunately, Judson's directions for how to get to the "Good Times" sports bar were very confusing. So I circled around a couple of times and then just headed straight for it. Martin had even worse luck getting there. He got totally turned around after getting off the Interstate and ended up driving through a very seedy and run-down neighborhood. He said that he didn't stop and ask for directions because he was afraid that asking, "Where can I find good times around here?" would have been totally misunderstood, possibly with disastrous consequences. Nevertheless, he muddled through and was not very late to the bachelor party, which was a good thing since he was the host.

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Monika met with Detlef, Susanna, and Heinke and Gustl. Detlef is Heinke and Gustl's son, and Susanna is his wife. They had come already a day earlier and they all met in the lobby of the hotel. Detlef was miffed that I had left for the bachelor party without him, but this way Monika got to chat with him and find out about his newest business adventures. He was, in fact, still a consultant to his first business while trying to found 2 computer-related businesses, one in Hamburg and one in Munich, Germany. Susanna thought it would be cheaper for them to join a golf club! They chatted for several hours and then went to bed.

Meanwhile back at Good Times, the bachelor party was in full swing. When I arrived, people were playing pool, but not very seriously. I knew enough to not get on a team against Martin, who due to misspent college years is hard to beat in pool even when you gang up on him. Food was available and I was hungry, but one look at the huge hamburgers and mounds of French fries on Martin's platter gave me the strong feeling that low-fat salads would not be available. So I settled in with a soft drink and joined the action. This place had a wide variety of "guy" stuff, and we had a wide range of ages among the guys. The youngest appeared to be a young teenager, while the oldest appeared in his 60s or 70s. The older group seemed to prefer pool while various persons in the younger groups tried out the batting cages, table hockey, a flight simulator, motorcycles, and other stuff (I never did get to try out the bumper cars, but they looked like fun). Surprisingly, there was a substantial minority of women at this place, which may have prevented the guys from getting too rowdy, although the rent-a-cop outside surely helped. Some of the video games (like Pac Man) appealed to the girls as well as the guys.

From 11 to midnight we all signed up for laser tag, and I had a blast. All together there were 10 of us, five on each side including the youngest and the oldest. We each had laser pistols -- really more like semi-automatic machine pistols since they would shoot as fast as you pulled the trigger. Each time we went to our "recharge station", we got five new lives and 40 bullets. Forty bullets usually lasted me a couple of minutes and I usually ran out of ammunition before I got killed five times. We wore a vest with light sensors on the front, rear, and shoulders that recorded not only how often you were hit, but also exactly who shot you. At the end of each round, we each received a detailed printout of who shot who. I found this extremely interesting -- I got shot over 50 times in the two rounds of the game but I also shot an awful lot of other people! After the laser tag, the party broke up and I returned to the hotel about 1:00 in the morning.

After a short night's sleep, it was time to get up and go down to breakfast with all my German relatives. We made extensive use of the hotel's breakfast buffet and chatted amiably for over an hour. After breakfast we split up. Heinke, Gustl, Detlef, and Susanna drove north along the seacoast -- Susanna and Heinke were squeezed into the jump seats of Detlef's rented Ford F-150 pickup for two hours! (I wonder what second prize was, 4 hours?) But they stopped for lunch along the coast and had nice seafood, so they seemed to enjoy it. Monika and I drove straight down to Boston on Interstate 93 to Logan airport in order to pickup Monika's sister Helga and her husband Jim. That went without a hitch and without even much frustration from the traffic, which is very unusual for driving in Boston. It was a good thing that we had removed most of the luggage from trunk, as getting their luggage into the trunk was a tight fit. But it was an easy and quick drive back to the hotel where we helped them move in.

Afterwards, we drove to North Andover and Andover to test out the routes to the different venues. First, we drove to the Unitarian Church in North Andover, which was the site of the wedding, and it turned out to be a beautiful, traditional white church with a steeple. I didn't get to go inside because it was locked, so we drove on to the site of the rehearsal dinner, which was another Unitarian church in Andover, MA. This was a smaller, more informal church that looked perfect for the dinner. It was unlocked, so we went inside and looked around for a while before heading back to the hotel.

We were pretty hungry by this time, so we had lunch on the way at a place that specialized in roast beef -- the parking lot was crowded with local cars, which is always a good sign. Monika, Jim, and I had the roast beef special, while Helga had spinach rolls. We split a large dill pickle that I bought (very tasty and no fat) and felt much better as we drove back to the hotel. We had all been up late (us) or got up very early (them), so we all turned in for a nap.

Judson and Sarah had made up a schedule for the bachelor party, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception that had everything timed to to down to the minute. So we all gathered promptly at 5:00 for the rehearsal at the North Andover Unitarian church -- but of course Judson and Sarah were 20 minutes late! That gave me the time to sort through my box of cameras (two 35mm single lens reflex cameras, two 35mm point-and-shoot cameras, and one 8mm movie camera) and decide what I wanted to do as I didn't think I had any role to practice during the rehearsal. I chose to make a videotape since Merlin had a 35mm SLR and Monika had her 35mm snapshot camera. I found out that none of the outlets in the church was live so I had to use the batteries, which was dicey as they get charged up only about once a year.

Using the camera gave me a much closer front-row seat visually, except it was only black and white in the viewfinder. The rehearsal was very cheerful, filled with laughter and jokes, especially from Judson and Martin's friends. The one that sticks in my mind was someone, I think it was Josh, mimicking the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars while Judson and Sarah descended down some steps from a podium. He timed the music to exactly coincide with their footsteps, but it was of course wildly inappropriate for a wedding. I'm not sure what the minister thought of all this.

As it turned out, I had to take a break from the videotaping because Monika and I were in fact included in the ceremony. After they read the vows, Chris sang a song and while he was singing the parents of both the bride and groom lit candles and passed them to Judson and Sarah. They then took the candles up to the top of a podium where they lit a single large candle -- very symbolic! Josh also had a dramatic reading (at least it was dramatic the way he read it) about the institution of marriage that had been taken in large part from a book that Monika and I had read. The rehearsal ended with a practice of both the processional and recessional march for all the wedding party, and after that it was off to the rehearsal dinner!

The rehearsal dinner was catered by a local Italian restaurant, Bertucci's, which had provided good food and an awful lot of it. I'm not exactly sure what I was eating but I just ignored the diet and had a good time, including splitting a desert with Monika. The groomsmen each received a watch as a gift, but the choice of each watch was carefully matched to the personality and preferences of each person. Monika and I were very surprised when Judson and Sarah also gave us a card and said that our gift would be a photo album with wedding pictures. How appropriate! If I had known that I wouldn't have had to bring all my cameras!

After dinner Gary, Sarah's father, gave a very heartfelt speech to the couple. We had also arranged for a dance instructor to give a group lesson on swing dancing for after-dinner entertainment. He was really good and we all kept dancing for at least an hour and a half. Monika and I helped cleanup at the end, which was the least we could do as we were nominally the hosts of the event. The party finally broke up at 1030 p.m., which was a lot later than the originally scheduled 9 p.m., and we all trundled back to the hotel and fell into bed around 11.

The wedding day dawned cloudy but it looked like it was clearing and in fact we had bright sunshine by the time of the wedding ceremony. Since we both have trouble sleeping in late, we got up early and I walked on the treadmill while Monika swam in the pool to get some exercise. I had breakfast with Lois and Merlin and Phyllis and Bill, but Monika left to be with Robyn, Sarah's mother, at the hairdressers. After breakfast, I took Phyllis and Lois shopping -- I needed wrapping paper for gift, Phyllis needed black shoes for the wedding, and Lois needed a card and a slip. Fortunately, we found a shoe store, a hallmark store, and a women's clothing store all in the same strip mall (was that Divine Providence or just rampant American consumerism?). We found out that one of Phyllis's feet was a size larger than the other, so we had to buy two pairs of shoes of the same style to get one pair that fit, but there was a half price sale for the second pair so altogether we still only paid twenty dollars! Flushed with a frugal victory and two extra shoes, we hurried back to the hotel to all get dressed for the wedding.

There wasn't any time for lunch, but luckily Monika had brought back a doggie bag with rolls from the rehearsal dinner and they were still good, so each of us ate a couple of those instead of lunch (Thank you, Bertucci's!). After dressing, we had to leave early to get to the church in order to be there for pre-wedding photographs, and of course we took along Helga, Jim, and their green bag full of small denomination dollar bills (don't ask). This time I chose my compact snapshot camera to take with me so that I could carry it in my pants pocket and whip it out to take photographs whenever necessary. When it comes to having my picture taken, I follow the principle that the best defense is a good offense. Just for fun, I followed the official photographer around and took some of the same shots until it was time for the ceremony to begin.

The ceremony began right on time at 3 p.m. in the beautiful white church under a cloudless blue sky. When Sarah came down the aisle, tears were rolling down her cheeks but she smiled warmly when she saw Judson. This of course also made all of the bridesmaids start to cry, and it turned into a 2-handkerchief wedding. In fact, Sarah's mother was passing handkerchiefs to the bridesmaids during the ceremony. I found myself chasing down a tear or two during certain parts of the ceremony.

The ceremony really went off without a hitch, at least from our point of view. After the Reverend Richardson's welcome, Josh read his piece about marriage which was an excerpt from the book "Owl Sight", by Mercedes Lackey. Judson and Sarah each then spoke their marriage vows (from memory, yet!) which they had composed. It was absolutely clear that they were both taking these vows very seriously and the two of them were so deeply in love. This is where I choked up because I was hoping the best for them while at the same time being fully aware of the range of things that could happen in the future. As a parent I still wanted to prevent anything bad happening to them but realistically I knew I couldn't protect them from everything like when they were small even though I wanted to so badly that my heart was aching. So you just hope against hope that nothing bad will happen to them, or that they will find the strength to cope with whatever misfortunes would come their way--Good Luck, young lovers, may it go well for you! Anyway, those were the thoughts and emotions flashing through my mind while they plighted their troth.

They exchanged their rings (Martin had remembered to bring "the small one" and Lisa "the big one"). For the candle lighting Chris was singing "Mein Glaubiges Herz" by Bach (who couldn't make it) while we parents were lighting candles and passing them to our children. This successfully diverted the attention of the audience which I appreciated--have you ever tried to light a candle with 200 people staring at you? I lit our candle with regular matches since I was so nervous I could not reliably operate Matty's cigarette lighter, and I really melted the wax off the tip to make sure it wouldn't go out when Monika passed it to Judson (not that I'm superstitious, mind you!). Across the aisle, Gary lit another candle that Robyn then passed to Sarah, and then Judson and Sarah walked up to the speaker's platform where they lit their joint candle from the separate candles, after which they joined hands and walked down the steps arm-in-arm. Jennifer then read a wedding prayer by Reverend Peter Richardson (who did make it) and the Reverend then gave a short homily. Reverend Richardson then pronounced them man and wife, and they had a nice long kiss (I enjoyed the Reverend saying "Not too short!" at the rehearsal, and that's the way they did it during the ceremony.). It was all very beautiful, says Monika, who usually summarizes things better than I do. After the benediction and recessional, the bride, groom, members of the wedding party, parents, and every member of the congregation also signed a formal marriage contract in the foyer of the church, which is the first time I had seen that done. The contract explicitly stated the vows that Sarah and Judson had made in church and had spaces for the signatures of all the participants and the congregation.

After signing the contract the guests filtered passed the greeting line (which included both sets of parents so I couldn't take pictures although I briefly considered shaking with one hand and snapping a picture with the other). They gathered outside until it was time for the newlywed's grand exit from the church. I enjoyed throwing the rice as Judson and Sarah walked down the steps of the church. In fact, the rice was really little heart-shaped pieces of sugar which also tasted very good, but I saved most of it for throwing. Martin was throwing entire bags of it and trying to score a bulls-eye I think, but he missed. He made that up later when he soaped the windows of their car.

After folks had left for the reception, the bride and groom returned for more pictures. The photographer arranged many nice pictures of the wedding couple in the church, and then more pictures of the entire wedding party on a green just across the street from the front of the church. I gave Bill Jr. the Minolta SLR and he shadowed the photographer inside the church, who graciously let him take pictures, and I later got a lot of nice pictures of the wedding party and families on the green. Then it was finally time for all those in the wedding party also to get to the reception.

We all drove over to the reception in the Andover, MA town Hall, which was a tall brick building with offices below and a large ballroom type area on the main floor where the reception was held. Although I expect there were over hundred and fifty people at the reception, there was plenty of space for the tables for a sit down dinner and the dance floor. We were, naturally enough, one of the last people to arrive. We were at the table with Judson and Sarah, Martin, Gary and Robyn, Lisa, Scott and their son Colin. Very shortly after we were seated the dinner service commenced. During the salad course, Martin gave his toast as best man, and it was everything we had expected.

Martin had known Sarah since high school and Judson, as he said, "I feel like I've known him all my life!", so he put a lot of personal material into his toast. Really, it was more like a Johnny Carson monologue concerning what Judson and Sarah were like and how they had met. His description of their meeting at his 21st birthday party was particularly funny. He related how Judson, seeing Sarah, said "Martin, I didn't know you had any cute friends!" And how Sarah had said upon seeing Judson, said "Hubba, Hubba!" Shortly thereafter both Sarah and Judson had decided to go to her parent's house for the remainder of the evening, and none of the other people at his birthday party were invited! That should have been a clue. One of the bridesmaids also told me that she knew this was serious when Sarah, who never liked Valentine's Day, suddenly decided to go up to New York to spend the following Valentine's Day with Judson. If I believe everything I was told, it seems like Judson and Sarah were the last people to know that they were going to get married!

Dinner was great, although I'm not sure that Sarah and Judson ate any because they were going to each table and talking to their friends and relatives. There were both fish and chicken entrees, and I had servings of each and found both very tasty. I was nervous about giving my toast after dinner, so I didn't have second helpings (or maybe it was thirds). In any case, after everyone had had a chance to finish their dinner, I got up and gave my toast. This simply related the transition of their relationship from "not dating" to "not girlfriend or boyfriend" to "not getting married soon", all of which had me in a constant state of confusion. I closed by displaying a "Marriage License" scroll and singing a snatch of song from the Wizard of Oz that expressed how glad I was that they were at last "legally, sincerely wed". Then I introduced the first dance of the bridal couple, and I think I can say without fear of contradiction that they made a very handsome couple on the dance floor.

The dancing went on for a couple of hours with all ages participating from the children to one couple that had been married 54 years and was still going strong. At the "anniversary dance", I was impressed that about 15 couples in the combined families had been married over 25 years--says something about family values I think. Phyllis and Bill were also dancing, and I was so happy that she had recovered enough from her knee replacement to be able to do so. Monika and I danced all the slow dances and about half of the fast dances, I think--it was really nice to have a big dance floor so that we could all spread out. This is particularly important on the fast dances as I am an enthusiastic but inexpert dancer and the quick tempo gives far less time to recover.

I took time out from the dancing to gather Martin and the groomsmen to go down to the parking lot and "decorate" Judson and Sarah's car. I had brought with a carefully made string of tin cans that we tied underneath the rear suspension--the string had knots in it so that the cans would stay properly spaced apart while rattling down the road. I had chosen cans of different sizes to make different notes--nothing's too good for my son! However, it turned out that Martin had not brought soap or shaving creme and there was none to be found in the men's room! Undaunted, we went around begging for a bar of soap, and one of the guests "happened to have some in his trunk". We asked about shaving cream and he was obliging but said he had just used the last of his shaving cream that morning and hadn't had time to replace his supply in the trunk. (I chose to look at this all as evidence for Divine Providence for our purposes rather than possible juvenile delinquency.) Using the providentially-provided soap, Peter and I wrote "Just Married" on the rear window, and then Martin carefully soaped in designs on every other window of the car except the front window--we have our limits!

After returning to the reception, I had a piece of wedding cake from the section that was the table centerpiece--it was almost a shame to see it cut up like that but it tasted good! The wedding couple had been socializing and dancing constantly and were too tired to do the cake cutting, so they made their "Grand Exit" around 8:30, which was later than scheduled, but we had all been having so much fun! We watched the car clatter away and I was happy to hear that each tin can was making a nice rolling, resonant note. I love it when a plan comes together! They were going to stay overnight and then head west for a few days in the Poconos and back to Cape Cod for a week of well-deserved R&R before returning to work. We left the reception about 9, making a caravan to return to the hotel with Lois and Merlin in their Suburban and Phyllis and Bill in their rented Taurus, which ensured that no one got lost on the way back.

The next morning we had a last grand breakfast with our German and American relatives. I hated to see everyone go, but Detlef promised he would visit if he came over to learn to fly this summer, and we'll see Lois and Merlin on September 29 to take a 1-day cruise in the Chesapeake on an old Liberty Ship like Merlin sailed on in WWII. Heinke and Gustl we may see again next year, and Phyllis and Bill when we visit Chicago, which made the good-byes easier. We left right after breakfast and had a 10-hour drive home with a few traffic problems so we skipped taking a Volksmarch in Hartford. But oh what a wonderful weekend we all had! Prost to the newlyweds and, in the immortal words of Spock (the Vulcan, not the Doctor), "May they live long and prosper!" More specifically, may Sarah always be the "cute" one for Judson and may Sarah's hubbie always be her "Hubba, Hubba!"